I pore over these articles, never quite trusting their advice, but still discussing them with my girlfriends ad infinitum. But is sex really about love, about connecting with your partner in some mysterious, profound way?
I think the 20th century made the whole story upand we and it because it suited us. We went from sex-shame to sex-worship in a few heady years. And just being love with someone is a real act of trust. I once risked asking my partner whether he thought sex could ever be spiritual.
Sex is about lust, about desire, about a particular physical experience that is intensely pleasurable. Sex has never been about the spirit, not for a day! One of the most alarming things about sex, I sex, is the role of fantasy within it. Regardless of whether it borderline legal porn true, we are still taught that sex is about love.
There seems to be a huge conflict here.
In the early 80s, as part of my training as a probation officer, I learned how to be a sex therapist in a week. At that time, I thought it bed all quite amusing. I was in my 20s, and quite happy to share erotic stories with my then husband, about innocent virgins and their seduction. But now I am
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